80th

2 months apart  . . .
this is my 80th post
yes recently kinda lazy to update my blog
don't have the right mood to do it too
currently in holiday
after finishing short semester
the only thing stress about this semester would be repeating a failed subject
but now
i'm confidently cool about it and i aim to score high
the moment when finishing the last question of the final exam with 5 minutes spare
the calmness when doing the whole paper
the relief of knowing i did all of the questions
just so damn satisfied
although right after i knew some mistakes i made
but still i aim high
damn i will pass this paper as high as possible


another good news would be my course structure has changed
i suppose to do industrial training next may
instead i'll be doing next october
short semester of year 3 and 4 have filled in with subjects
the downside of this is we don't have any 3 months holiday
thanks to this i think i'm able to graduate the same period with my original coursemate
which i already having 3 subjects behind them . . .


i never regret taking civil engineering
i just never thought that it could be this hard
not anyone can cope
while myself just barely hanging right there

uphill

another semester finished

another exam done

and result out as usual

this time i check as fast as i could

it release on 2.05pm

i saw it on 2.50pm

usually i'd wait till late evening or at night only i check

probably i have high confidence in this sem's result

numerical methods and statistics a-

thermodynamics b-

cad & c++ c

fluid mechanics 2 b-

hydrology b

basics econs, acc and management b

i was aiming for an A for the numerical

a second A

but never mind, this is good enough too

gpa 2.9127

my highest so far

:)

追

你走到哪

我会跟到哪

你一直走

我会一直追

永远贴着你

如果有一天你转头望不到我时

不是我不再追你了

只是我累了

那时希望你放慢一些

好让我能追到你

离你越远

心会越疼

只有在零距离时才安心

世界再多大也好

有你在就好

如果有一天你不再需要我追时

我会假装听不见

请原谅我不听话继续追着你

短时间内会很不习惯

请体谅我一会儿

当我确定你能独立后

我会试着放手

好让你能走得更好

与你的邂逅

永远不忘

中国 | 2011

好久没写部落格了，这是关于我九年后再次去到中国的旅行。我去的是中国的中部，主要的两个城市是郑州(河南省首府)和西安(陕西省首府)，其他城市有开封、新密、登封、洛阳和三门峡。重要的景点是开封府、少林寺、龙门石窟和兵马俑。

星期三晚出发到机场，延迟了大约半小时，启程到上海浦东国际机场，三小时内转机到郑州新郑国际机场。很可惜，上海的天空烟雾蛮重，所以没机会看清楚市容。原本呢出发的日期是定于周四，因为航班位子有限只好分两天出发。整团人四十六位，第一趟先走的有九个包括家人和我。所以在郑州，我们就个多住一晚。

第一个重量级的旅游景点-开封府，坐落在开封千年历史的府。保护与修复历史古迹，还是中国比大马好，开封府的大门、里面的建筑、一座四层楼-清心楼，都修复得很好。开封府的前面有一个包公湖，风景不错。

然后，在登封看一个所谓轰动全球的表演-禅宗少林音乐大典，舞台设计很复杂，背景竟是两座山，真的山，舞台就在中间。表演的功夫，当然也是真的，加上LED和闪光灯，形成高科技功夫表演了。同样的在登封参观了少林寺，也是个千年历史的景点。本来是个传授少林功夫的清静地，也变成了商业化，开放给旅客。心想能参观古迹是很难得的，但是要为了旅客需要开放，破坏一定难免的。讽刺的，商业化创造了商机，对当地居民却是好事。

在洛阳的龙门镇，有个叫龙门石窟的景点，有整万个在石岩雕刻的佛像和佛尊。曾被破坏被盗，也修复的很多，佛像最小的可以和拇指一样，最大的呢有差不多十七米高。龙门石窟遍布两座对岸的山岩，中间隔着一条河-伊河。

到达西安后，直接就参观兵马俑了。总共有三个被挖掘的地方，全都盖起屋顶，里头安了空调，保护至上。听了导游的历史解说，兵马俑对我而言，只是因为权威而建起的, 劳命伤财只为了自己。千年前的怨恨，却为现代西安带来很多工作机会，人们也从中受益。兵马俑挖掘已三十年，还没完成呢，还有很多埋藏着的都不会去碰了，政府决定全力保护。

其他的景点包括丽景门、西安长乐门、回民街、河南博物馆、郑州黄河风景、和二七广场。丽景门和回民街都是古街，很特别的店铺，也买很多小吃。在回民街多数做生意的是回教徒，有几条小巷很狭窄，古老，但美。第一次坐气垫船就是在郑州黄河啦，船长带我们到黄河河床然后下船，黄河近年水位超低，河床就是一片黄泥，泥是粉粉地，踏在河床的感觉，很怪。

食物方面呢，因为这里是中部，离开海岸很远，少吃到海鲜，鱼类都是黄河鱼。差不多每一餐都会有一个馒头东坡肉，常见的菜是菇类，菜肴不会太辣，不过不会很开胃。直到有一餐是澳门式的，吃起来超好吃，澳门菜很像大马华人的菜式。有一件有趣的事是中国的啤酒，不同的城市都有自己的品牌，而且每个省皆有产酒。酒精介于3.3-3.7%而已，当然是大马的好喝多了。

一路上都是坐旅游巴士，印象深刻的莫过于中国的发展吧，城市的环绕公路、高速公路和高速铁路。从谷歌地图看，郑州和西安都有三环公路，还又连霍高速公路，全长4280公里，我们的旅程只用了大约四百多公里。另外，幸运的让我看到了高铁列车，属于郑西高铁。虽然没有机会搭高铁，去西安时有看到高铁的超夸张铁路工程。远远看超壮观的，近看也没话说了。没亲眼见过高铁的我，终于看到了，希望大马也会有，十年可以吗？九年前在重庆和昆明的路上自行车多不胜数，而现在看到郑州和西安呢，自行车到处都是，不过电力发动的，只需充电，不需加油，没有引擎，没有废气。

回程时呢，就只有等一个字。中午十二点到达机场，享用午餐后就在等候厅等三点的飞机到上海浦东。当天早上有听说到上海刮三或四级的风，怎知真的发生航班大延迟，一等就等了六个半小时，天亮等到天黑，上海天气转晴时，终于离开了西安陕西国际机场。回到浦东机场时，天色当然也暗了，又错过了上海的风景，扫兴啊。。。没多久，半夜就转机起飞回吉隆坡。早上六点到达。

A

yes, finally i obtained my first A . . . 4.00

only one subject . . . maths 2 . . . succeed
but all of us knew that the final paper, the midterm are all below standard difficulties
not too happy about it

dynamics passed with c

soil mechanics with a c+ . . . zzz

my english for engineering b

and pengajian malaysia passed . . .

deep breath . . .

haaaaaaaaaaaa

gpa 2.83

cgpa two point five seven

tomorrow will be the starting of year 2

long way ahead . . .

:)

year one ended

and so . . . i 've been a full year in utar . . .i finished the first year and three more to go . . . year one third semester can be considered as the busiest among the whole year, from week 3 onwards till week 13 non-stop, rest a week and then face exam for 3 weeks, finally done but semester break only last for 2 weeks . . . i take 5 subjects with all have final, luckily all have room to breathe, meaning those exam days do not cramp together, still there's one subject that i have a feeling it will be gone, all others shouldn't have problems . . . infact i have high hopes that maths can get an A, my first one though if i really got one . . . the one that's gonna fail will be dynamics . . . its so hard and many are complaining, even the pro's doubt whether they can get A . . . so the weaklings like me obviously doomed . . . i register for muet for this semester as well, the exam is quite ok except for the speaking . . . i made a mistake, a very basic mistake, do not read the questions and instructions completely . . . oops . . . i wanna get band 4 . . . and put some faith in band 5 also . . . although very much impossible . . .

all exams finished, i should be enjoying from this moment on, but i don't feel relax at all, may be because i stressed for too long, or i might be not celebrating enough . . . or this is the side effect of growing old? grew old but still studying . . . study yet by hanging on a thread, anytime could fail, that's how i felt . . . all the time thinking to switch course . . . i don't regret in taking civil engineering, i learned a lot, but holding it till the end is a different story. so, marketing? quantity survey? or automotive? zzz

if you ever wanna venture into engineering world . . . think twice seriously . . . which university is not a main problem

i watch a movie, have a good lunch, a little shopping and that's all the entertainment, if i play dota, will i be able to release my stress? anyhow, i dont like dota . . . cod or l4d2 is much better . . . so what kind of entertainment will release stress? now i hope to go a trip, be it one day or a few days . . . wanna have a different experience . . . there's one study tour by utar, 3.4k exclude meal to tunghai university, taiwan for 14 days . . . expensive opportunity . . . ptptn can sponsor me somehow hehe . . . should i go?? hmmm

Final Fantasy XIII Soundtrack | Serah's Theme

make my wish come true
let darkness fade to light
show me there's still hope
show me it's not over
battles we can win
our struggle lies within
will we live to greet the dawn
love will not leave you
hate will not heal you
promise me one day that peace shall reign

where's . . .

actually i don't really have mood for blogging

since already more than one month
i shall crap out something . . .
something that never right


i'm currently doing week 10
since week 2 every week has been a busy one
one after another although i am taking 5 subjects
and of course i'm not done busying


recently i seem to have found out
that i really aging
my face in the mirror
my body much more fragile than before
easily twisted =="
white hair grew more than before

i'm not fully 21
and not expecting people to take me as 20 also
means i'm really getting old
my parents also
every of my friend as well

life irreversible

memory irreplaceable

people not too friendly to you anymore
the world doesn't care how you feel also
earthquakes everywhere
wars everywhere
hatred all around
where's love?
where's mine?
where's yours?


independent is the sole answer to all this
which indirectly goes for selfishness
everyone protecting themselves will hurt others
my brain has been thinking, twisting, moving, storming, non-stop . . .
to find answers
for everything
silent is the side effect
why is it so hard to do it even though a simple stuff
some things always blocked the path
but there's no turning back
time never stops for us as usual
i'm seriously missing a thing


my world is getting smaller and smaller

非诚勿扰

你见，或者不见我
我就在那里
不悲不喜

你念，或者不念我
情就在那里
不来不去

你爱，或者不爱我
爱就在那里
不增不减

你跟，或者不跟我
我的手就在你手里
不舍不弃

来我的怀里或者
让我住进你的心里
默然相爱
寂静欢喜

《班扎古鲁白玛的沉默》
作者 | 扎西拉姆多多

这首诗我在看非诚勿扰2时，有个小女生，送别父亲时而念的
非诚勿扰和非诚勿扰2这两部都是很有意义的电影
出自于导演冯小刚著的小说

3rd semester

nothing changed

at least not my appeal's result

so i have to accept it that it was a fail

bye bye structural analysis

bye bye too, structural analysis 2

have to wait till short semester to retake

so this semester left only 5 subjects

pengajian malaysia, another boring subject like moral in malay language

english for engineering, not a typical english class, many said it's not easy to pass or score

mathematics 2, seems a little interesting than mathematics 1, still it's a tough one

dynamics, similar to physics in a-level but those formulae seems have ''add-on''s

soil mechanics, after a few lectures and still in the midst of introduction, not sure how it will be, i believe it's more to calculation as well . . .

since i took english this semester, i registered to take MUET too, hope it can help me a little, didn't write a proper essay for a long time . . . oh no . . .

by the way, i can't afford a fail anymore, it's truly a painful one, especially need to retake the whole subject again . . .

university . . . civil engineering . . . damn hard to continue

things always be different

it changes unexpectedly

if i can live for 100 years old

what have i done in one fifth of it?

can i be fully independent?

perhaps not . . .

what else i achieved that's truly memorable?
what i'm capable of?
need another 20 years to prove?
sad . . .

fallen

what a sad news . . .

i've fallen

now i truly felt about when getting a fail in an important exam

just merely half a year and this is my first fall

structural analysis down

the other two passed . . .

first thought of that moment when i got it . . .

i'm wondering system wrong?? server problem??

but then repeatedly read again . . . it's still remain ''F''

then, i wonder where it went wrong . . .

i was positive that i can passed, at least merely
and so i will appeal
despite an expensive price of rm100
i must appeal . . .

wait for another 2 weeks
hope something will change
it must change
damn it == xx